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| I finally started waking up around noon. I was at work at 6:45 AM or so but I felt like I left half my brain at home. Note to self: going to bed late one night has costs for 3 days afterward! Ouch. Water to the skid (my project) is still down, so I don't have anything physical to do, and sitting in front of a computer feeling rather zombie-fied is no fun.
But tonight starts my three-day weekend (woohooooo!) with Trey and fireworks and Wall-E and outside-ness. 
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| Today, I worked from 6:30 AM to 8:45 PM. It was one hell of a day, but I'm still happy about it, even though I don't feel like going to bed now that it's getting late. I only have 3 more days of work before I get to enjoy a fabulous three day weekend with Trey.
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| I am. Worried, I mean. I know that the bf doesn't realize it, but I think about my safety (almost) as much as he does. I broke into full fight-or-flight survival response tonight when I saw some poor guy unloading his stuff from his car. The hot wave flew through my veins but he wasn't a threat. I was already on edge and registered his movement as possibly dangerous. Earlier, I was asked "to dinner" by a large man who looked between 30 and 35 years old. For reference, I am somewhere around 20 years old, but I look younger than I am. I don't know what would cause him to ask; I thought that he was being friendly while I loaded my clothes into the dryer until we came to the ridiculous Me-Man-You-Woman-We-Sex-Now? part of the conversation. All I know is that I don't want to spend any time around someone who thinks that "dating" someone at least ten years younger who looks 18 or so is a good idea.
Just 30 minutes ago, I saw red lights outside my window, again. I do not know what happened, but I know that there were flashing lights outside my window last weekend. It sounded like someone (police?) was talking to my neighbor. There is one possibility that would be okay: my neighbor is a fireman. He could have come to his apartment with the big red truck to get something he left behind. But then why did I hear voices talking about hospitals? This is not a good sign.
Tonight, I am scared. But I will go to bed and get up in the morning and try to remember that there are good people in this world too. It's just that none of them live in my apartment complex.
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| Well it seems I now have a visitor! *waves to S*
At the moment, I am doing my best to get through the next week with as little abdication of responsibility as possible. I'm just plain out of my "must-do-this-now" ability to push through laziness and procrastination. The good news is that I have only 3 finals and moving and moving stuff to finish before I can go have some fun.
And it will be fun-there is Andrew's graduation party, a Legacy game with the guys, an all-night drive (euughc), and a BBQ and blues festival. And that's only Fri and Sat.
In other matters, I finally find myself reminded of (vaguely) who I want to be and regaining hope at attempts to become that person. Now where exactly do I go to buy my superhero costume? (jk, mostly)
The downside? I'm not trying to make any matters better with friend this semester. Yes, I haven't seen most of my friends in months. Yes, I'm probably not going to see them again until August. Yes, I haven't been to any of my usual organization meetings or hangouts.
But it doesn't matter. Sometimes I can manage to remember that there is no "making up for past mistakes." I'm leaving things as they are and next semester I'll tackle it fresh.
In the meantime, I'm ready for summer, relaxation, and happiness. I hope you make yours fun too.
-D
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| AUTHOR'S NOTE: You probably are not interested in this post. Skip if desired.
I am grateful for my parents, who are the most generous and supportive people I could ever hope to have in my life. May they live forever.
I am grateful for the internet. It allows me to read about any topic I find interesting. The internet deserves extra points for producing Wikipedia.
I am grateful for music, which changes existence into life. Long may it rule.
I am grateful that no one cares about my errors, and that friends celebrate my successes.
I am grateful for people. Without others on this lonely earth, I could be content but not exuberant or completely fulfilled.
I am grateful for chocolate, cake, cookies and brownies. Lovely Queens of the Food Court, I bow to you.
I am grateful for Trey. Although I do not know what will happen next, now is a fantastic adventure.
-D
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